


Learning to Live Again

by WaywardAF67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Based on Garth Brooks Song, Dancing, Destiel - Freeform, First Date, First Meeting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardAF67/pseuds/WaywardAF67
Summary: After struggling to get over a breakup, Dean is set up on a on a blind double date.





	Learning to Live Again

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song "Learning to Live Again" by Garth Brooks. 
> 
> This song was inspired by Ltleflrt. I read her fic "That Summer" and it gave me the idea of a fic based on a song. Every time I heard this song I wanted a fic about Dean meeting Cas. I mean come on, his friend Charlie sets him up on a date? This song was written for Destiel.

**_I burned my hand, I cut my face_ **

**_Heaven know how long it’s been_ **

**_Since I’ve felt so out of place_ **

**_I’m wonderin’ if I’ll fit in_ **

 

I can’t believe I let Charlie talk me into this. Sure, I haven’t been on a date in a few months. Well, maybe a little more than a few months. Actually, shit, probably closer to a year. But it’s not easy getting over the one you thought would be your forever. It hurts at how cliché it all is.

I got off work early and wanted to surprise her by taking her out to her favorite restaurant. Things had been strained recently and I wanted to show her I was willing to put in the work.

When I get home I noticed her best friend's car in the driveway. That’s not unusual - Lisa’s best friend was often at our house a few nights a week. He kept her company when I was at the shop late. What was unusual, was walking in and seeing his naked ass up in the air on my couch. It felt like my heart had been ripped out. God, even my emotions were a cliché.

I later learned that Lisa’s best friend was not gay. As a bisexual man myself, I should have known better than to assume he was gay just because he had a boyfriend - well, fiancé. Regardless of his sexuality, I thought I was safe to assume that my girlfriend and her engaged-to-a-man best friend were not sleeping together. I was clearly wrong.

That’s what lead me here to this. Standing in front of my bathroom mirror with an ice pack over a burn on my hand, and toilet paper squares stuck to the cuts on my face. I haven’t felt this nervous since my very first date. Maybe it was because it’s with a guy? I haven’t been out with a man since before Lisa. It’s been years.

 

**_Debbie and Charlie said they'd be here by nine_ **

**_And Deb said she might bring a friend_ **

**_Just my luck, they're right on time_ **

**_So here I go again_ **

 

Of course Charlie is on time. I have to rush to the door and almost forget the bloody squares on my face. What a good way to make a first impression. “Hi, nice to meet you. I am still struggling after a bad breakup almost a year later and can’t even shave my own face because my ex liked doing it for me. How’s a second date sounding?” Smooth.

Deb had said this guy was shy and I would have to really bring on the charm, but she “just knew we would hit it off”. Her line of maybe bringing a friend wasn’t fooling anyone. Everyone knew this was a blind date. I just wonder what Deb has over Charlie to get her to agree to the surprise blind date.  Actually, it’s better if I don’t think about that.

So, here I am, standing at the door, looking at my best friend, my best friend-in-law, and the allusive hot nerd friend. Deb has been talking about Castiel for months now. They met at work, and became fast friends. It’s not that I have become jaded by my cliché breakup or anything, but I just had to ask Charlie about one hundred times if she was sure that this Castiel guy was actually gay and not just trying to steal her wife. Charlie gave me her best impression of Sam’s bitchface, and told me not only was Deb a gold star lesbian, but also Cas had never so much as experimented with women. He was a grade A homosexual.

 

**_I'm gonna smile my best smile_ **

**_And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style_ **

**_Look into his eyes and pray that he don't see_ **

**_That learning to live again is killing me_ **

 

“Dean, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Dean,” Deb introduces us. She said he was shy, and she wasn’t exaggerating. He gives me a small smile, but at least he can hold eye contact. It might be because I am being a bit of a creep, staring into his eyes like they would tell my future. But that’s neither here nor there. Oh right, the charm.

“Hiya, Cas. It’s great to meet ‘cha. Deb over here can’t stop talking about you. I think she’s smitten.”

From the looks I get from both Debbie and Charlie, that was not the right thing to say. This isn’t going well. But we press on.

“I assure you Dean, I have no interest in Deborah as anything more than a friend. All the same, it’s nice to meet you. If I didn’t know better, I would assume Deborah was smitten with you, based on your logic. She speaks highly of you and often.”

The laugh that escapes me isn’t forced. Cas seems dry, but there’s a hint of humor under his statement. Maybe it’s not going as badly as I thought. Maybe a date with a hot guy isn’t going to kill me after all.

 

**_Little cafe, table for four_ **

**_But there's just conversation for three_ **

**_I like the way he let me get the door_ **

**_I wonder what he thinks of me_ **

 

I drive us to the roadhouse. If I can't control my emotions, I can at least be in control of getting us to our destination.

Cas let me open the car door for him. It's kind of sweet how he looks up at me and gives a shy smile. I've dated guys who won't let you open the door for them. Some macho sexist bullshit about not being a lady. Cas didn't seem to mind. He seems comfortable with himself. I like that. I hope I'm giving a good impression. I don't want him to think I'm a whack job.

“Dean, you wanna join in on this conversation?” Charlie asks me.

“Shit - ah, shoot. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you,” I say.

“Dancing. Cas is a dance instructor,” Deb says at the same time that Charlie declares, “He teaches pole dancing.”

He got a scared look on his face. “I'm not a stripper, Dean.”

I laugh again. This guy is adorable.

“I know there are other types of pole dancing, man. It’s a real art form. But I wouldn't have minded if you were a stripper. I'm not here to judge.”

For the first time, I hear Cas laugh and it’s lovely. It's a rich, deep sound. Nothing like Lisa’s borderline cackle. And ain't that a bitch. Why’d her memory have to pop up?

“I’m not sure if you mean it, but thank you for saying that, Dean.”

All I can do is give him an equally sweet smile.

 

**_Debbie just whispered, "You're doin' fine"_ **

**_And I wish that I felt the same_ **

**_He's asked me to dance, now his hand's in mine_ **

**_Oh, my god, I've forgotten his name_ **

 

The conversation continues, and I make sure to make comments every now and then. I really wish I hadn't thought of Lisa. It’s not even that I miss her. She wasn’t that great. I just miss having that comfort of someone. Knowing you get to share your life with another person. The feeling of home. But then again, I always felt like a visitor with Lisa. I know it’s for the best we didn’t work out, but that doesn’t make it suck any less.

There I go again, not paying attention. The rest of the table is laughing, so I throw in a small chuckle, looking across the table to Debbie to see if it’s the appropriate response.

Charlie asks Cas to help her carry over another round and I can’t help but watch him walk away. He really does have the hot nerd down to a science. It's 2017 - who even wears waist coats anymore? Apparently Deb's hot accounting manager. He’s dressed all in black with a red tie, yet he manages to make the slacks, black dress shirt, and waist coat look casual. Like he’s more comfortable in business casual than street casual.

“Relax, Dean, you’re doing fine,” Debbie says. I didn’t realize I was staring until they start to make their way back to our table. I feel panicked and embarrassed so I turn to Debbie as if she said something funny and laugh like it’s going out of style. This is not going well - I am so awkward. There is no way this guy is interested. It’s not like I have anything to lose with him, but I actually feel like maybe he’s worth getting to know. Even if we don’t date, we will probably run into each other often enough.

The evening is progressing and we have all had a few drinks. It’s more comfortable and I feel like I am more present in the conversation. Cas has an adorable flush to his cheeks, and he has a permanent grin. There are couples dancing and the music's getting louder. I have to lean in every time I want to say something to Cas. At least that’s what I'm telling myself.

The music changes and a slow song begins.

“I love this song. Dean would you like to dance with me?”

My mouth has gone dry. I can’t respond, so I just nod my head and shuffle out of the booth after him. He pulls me close and takes the lead. I wasn’t expecting that, given how shy he’s been, but I like it. As expected, he’s a perfect gentleman, his hand a respectable distance from my ass. Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind if his hand slid a little lower, but this is still nice. He smells good too. I am such a sucker for a man who smells nice.

I haven’t had a chance to really study him yet. Being this close, I can see lines on his face from where his nose crinkles when he laughs. I have a passing desire to place a gentle kiss on each line. But the laugh lines, and bright smile are nothing to speak of in comparison to his eyes. Since my stupid cliché breakup, I am noticing how rarely I have an original thought, but there are not enough words in the English language to describe the depths of blue his eyes reach. The way he’s looking at me right now, I feel like he’s staring into my soul.

The song is slow and sensual and we are doing nothing more than swaying from side to side. It feels good to be in his arms. He gives me a tight smile and pulls me even closer to his body. Our torsos are touching and he rests his chin on my shoulder. Between feeling his breath on my neck, and his hand sliding further down my back, I’ve lost all train of thought. Oh my God, I can’t even remember his name. It was weird - Ca-something. It’s okay. Don’t panic, Charlie will say his name when we get back to the table. It’s fine.  

 

**_But I'm gonna smile my best smile_ **

**_And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style_ **

**_Look into his eyes and pray that he don't see_ **

**_That learning to live again is killing me_ **

 

The song is over and he leads me off the dance floor with his hand still on my lower back, right above the swell of my ass.

“You’re a good dancer, Dean,” he tells me.

I laugh and reply, “Yeah, well you should see me doing the running man.”

There’s that infectious laugh again. It looks like stars are sparkling in his eyes when he tells me, “I’d really like to see that.”

His laughter makes me laugh in response and I say, “I’m pretty sure I would embarrass us both if I did the running man. How about we have a few more dates before I mortify myself?”

He doesn’t respond, just smiles and walks past me back to the table.

 

Charlie and Debbie are just this side of plastered and I’m trying to get Deb in the back seat of the car when she pops up and says, “Cas, I really think you’ll like Dean. He’s nursing a broken heart too. Maybe you can help each other heal. He got cheated on. You got accused of cheating, and really probably cheated on too. Because no one leaves a relationship without evidence of cheating. It was a guilty conscious if you ask me.”

“No one is asking you Deb. Now sit your ass down, or I’ll make you Lyft your way home,” I growl at her. She's managed to humiliate both Cas and me in less than one minute.  

I finally get the women situated in the back, Charlie already dozing off against the window, and Deb with her face in Charlie’s lap.

“Dean, I am sorry about the awkwardness Deborah caused.”

“Why the hell are you apologizing to me? You’re not the one who spilled both of our stories. She’s going to have a lot of ass-kissing to do tomorrow. I'm thinking hungover car wash.”

I look over and give Cas a wink, and what I hope is a charming grin. I can tell he’s really uncomfortable and I am hoping to lighten the mood.

“I’m not sure you’d want to trust her with your paint job while she’s hung over.”

“See, Cas? You already get me.”

 

**_Now here we are beneath his porch light_ **

**_And I say what a great time it's been_ **

**_A kiss on the cheek, a whisper goodnight_ **

**_And I say, "can I see you again"_ **

 

**_And he just smiles his best smile_ **

**_And he laughs like it's going out of style_ **

**_Looks into my eyes and says, "We'll see"_ **

**_Oh this learning to live again is killing me_ **

**_God this learning to live again is killing me_ **

 

I drive Cas home, since he rode with Deb and Charlie. He doesn’t live far from the Roadhouse and the rest of the trip back is spent in a comfortable silence.

I pull up to the curb and rush around to open Cas’ door. He must have caught onto my game by now, because he waits for me to open the door for him. I feel childish, but I grab his hand and thread our fingers together as I walk him to his front door. I give him a look I hope is coming off as genuine interest, but he gives me nothing in return. I’ve noticed all night his expressions are hard to read, but the eyes look soft and I think I see hope there. Maybe I'm just projecting.

“I had a great time tonight, Cas. Can I see you again?” I nervously ask. I didn’t expect to enjoy myself as much as I did. My heart suddenly drops when a look of hesitation crosses his face, but it was just a passing expression and he’s back to the soft smile that has been plastered on his face since his first beer.

He leans up and kisses me on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “We’ll see.”

I am stuck just standing there, watching him fumble with his keys. “We’ll see” isn’t a no, but it surely isn’t a yes. I give him as half-hearted smile as he slips into his house. He turns back to me one last time and gives me a wide grin, closing the door while I stare as his beautiful face.

Dating is hard and stupid. I can’t tell if he liked me. I don’t know if he wants to go out again, and now I’m stuck with two drunk women in my back seat who will be expecting a greasy breakfast and a ridiculous amount of attention once they wake up, feeling like death reincarnated. I should have brought Cas home with me and we could have drawn all over their faces. That would have been too forward, right? Shit, I didn’t even get his number. Maybe I can get it from Deb? Is that an invasion of privacy? Nah, I’ll just have her give him my number.

God, this “learning how to live again” shit is going to kill me!  


End file.
